http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/ the esoteric mind Sat, 26 Jun 2004 10:10:05 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2004. Acting Writing Music http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/41.html Sat, 26 Jun 2004 18:06:07 GMT Wow. This is strange-- making a blog entry and all. It's been like, what... 2 months now? Yep. I would say it's been about that long. But you know what? I think it's a good thing. This summer, God has really just blessed me with a lot of time to just reflect on and reassess some things. He has taught me to just really make the most of the day in obedience to Him-- something I had always been a bit hesitant to do. I don't know if my hesitancy was due fear of the unknown, laziness, a combination of both, or simply the use of one to make an excuse for another. Either way, God has... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=41 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/40.html Sun, 23 May 2004 04:58:15 GMT Okay, so here's the deal. The past few weeks have just been a rollercoaster of ups and downs with a cornicopia of feelings and emotions. I've been at crazy, wonderful highs, where I'm just totally on top of the world and working at my walk with Christ (and my walk with my treadmill-- I've been working out and it's been awesome!), and then I'd suddenly come crashing down, plumetting to depths of dispair that I have not seen in a very long time. Here's a brief recap of what's been going on with me since the last week of school: Finals So yeah, I thought I was going to get like a 3.6... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=40 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/39.html Tue, 27 Apr 2004 18:37:52 GMT Well, it's the week of finals, and the last week of school, and I am pretty convinced that I am going insane. My friend Rita (the Pita!) and I have both reached the conclusion that we have digressed to the maturity level of that of a 4th grader. But you know what? We know this. We accept this. It's all good. Actually, it's not all good, and I feel that I'm going to explode any minute now (seeing as though I have had absolutely know real, genuine emotion for the past 3 days) and everything will come crashing down on my head. But until then, I guess I should just continue in this numb void... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=39 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/38.html Tue, 20 Apr 2004 18:11:47 GMT Wow. I have been through so much crap these past few weeks, and Friday, it all finally hit the fan. Everything that possibly could have gone wrong did, and I felt as though I just couldn't take it anymore. After a series of painfully unfortunate events, I cracked; I sat down in the gazeebo and just started sobbing, a steady stream of tears running down my face. I just sat there; I couldn't speak or move... I just sat there, staring into space, hiding my feelings and emotions behind dark sunglasses. Friends tried to cheer me up, but it was no use-- I was just gone. But then one friend in... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=38 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/37.html Tue, 06 Apr 2004 05:51:36 GMT Alright. That's it. Everyone needs to just back up off of me!!! I can't take it anymore! If one more person asks me one more thing about my business, I swear, I'm gonna SCREAM!!!!! ::AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:: Sorry. Just practicing. But seriously-- I just can't take it anymore! I'm so sick of people asking me to help out, lend a hand, join the gang, be a part, conform, be alike, agree! I just can't do it. I can't!!! I want independence, and I HATE it! I hate that I want to just shut myself out from the world (including the BSU), and spend some time just finding... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=37 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/36.html Sat, 03 Apr 2004 07:06:39 GMT Well, a lot has been going on this week. Here's just a quick little recap: Fri 3-26 Well, if my memory serves me correctly, I went over to Alley's with Megan to watch movies and hang out and all that good stuff. Those who were present at the time include "Hot" Josh, Anthony, Erin B., Matt P., Chelsea, Jason P., Ellen, and Skylar. Then Skylar's brother Tyson came by for a bit and Jacquline and this girl (who I will assume was her sister) stopped by for a split second. We hung out and watched "Patch Adams" and "Shrek." Megan, Matt, Chelsea and I then left from Alley's and went back to... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=36 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/35.html Thu, 25 Mar 2004 04:25:19 GMT AMEN! Alright, yes, that was kind of random, I agree. But I must say that God works in some mighty mysterious ways, and that is just all too awesome!!! So I initially started this blog yesterday evening after I returned from Loco's (by way of the BSU), in a total and complete funk, feeling all sorry for myself, yada yada. My first thought was to get on here and vent all my frustrations and just totally rag on all the people that got on my nerves, said things that hurt my feelings, etc. I was all ready to put everyone on blast and just call them out for their faults and flaws, and God... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=35 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/34.html Tue, 23 Mar 2004 01:17:00 GMT Do you ever get the feeling that someone likes you, and all thought they're dropping every hint possible, they are trying as hard as they can not to tell you they like you? Well, I am currently experiencing such a dilemma. And frankly, I find it quite disturbing! If anything it has made me very anxious (nausea and all)-- an emotion I hadn't experienced in quite some time. Unfortunately, the presence of a fancier is not the only source of great anxiety for me. First of all, I have been really struggling spiritually lately. Last week was spring break-- a tradition that I have dreaded for... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=34 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/33.html Mon, 08 Mar 2004 03:40:31 GMT Oh my gosh! This weekend was so amazing!!! Although Megan and I were sort of apprehensive at first and didn't really know quite what to do, we just prayed and prayed, and God just blessed us and moved us and totally worked through us, and it was awesome!!! The host home parents, Miss Sherry and Mr. Lon, were so unbelievably sweet and welcoming. They were so warm, and they just really set our hearts and minds at ease. The girls truly were very sweet as well. They definately had some spunk to 'em, but that just made for an interesting weekend! D-Now was so crazy and so much... (more) http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=33 http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/archive/32.html Fri, 05 Mar 2004 16:24:08 GMT I definately need to get over myself and say goodbye to all of my selfishness. I feel as though my self-centered train of thought that I've been in lately has really been blocking the necessary communication between me and God. I really need to spend some time humbling myself and just giving all the glory to God. 'Cuz I mean, after all, it's not about me, it's all about Him. So that's all that should matter in my life right now, and I should just focus on Him and everything else will fall nicely into place... http://theesotericmind.blogdrive.com/comments?id=32